Our Love Pewdiecry
by KiyatoH
Summary: Cry has had feelings for Pewdie for quiet sometime and recently he has been too busy with his other friends and hasn't talked to Cry in a while. So Cry steps up and ask Pewds if he would come over. He dose but something major happens. Read and Review please
1. What Just Happen

"I wonder what Pewdie is doing right now?" Cry mumbled to himself as he laid on his soft blue couch playing amnesia on his laptop. "Ever since he's gotten popular he seems to play with Ken and Minx than me. It's sorta depressing. Maybe I should try calling him. Yeah that's what I'll do." Cry took his i-phone 4 out of his pocket that had a custom made case that had the cry doll on it. He clicked contacts and clicked on Felix's name. It rang twice and then Cry heard a familiar low voice.

"Hey bro what's up?" Felix said cheerfully.

"Hey Pewdie I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place to play amnesia with me."

"Sure Cry but I can't stay long I have to record a new video soon for the bros."

"Ok I understand. See you soon then."

"Ok see you soon Cry." Cry let out a big sigh. _Thank god, I didn't stutter. I don't see why I keep trying I know he has Martzia but what can I say I've loved him for the longest time._ Cry stood up and walked up his stairs to his bedroom.

"I gotta be clean when he comes here and have to look good." Cry walked into his room and went to his closet and pulled out a pair of black jeans and a green short sleeved shirt. "Ok now to the bathroom." Cry walked out of his room and to the bathroom. He took off his mask and looked at his face in the mirror. But only for a few seconds and then got undressed all the way and got in the shower.

_I finally get to see him. It's been the longest time since he actually came over to my house. I know it's my fault for not asking him to come sooner but I was afraid to cause of how he uploads a video like every day for his bros. He also has Martzia and I didn't want to interrupt anything._ Cry got out of the shower and put on his clean clothes and then went back to his room. "Alright time to clean." Cry's room was a mess he had dirty clothes everywhere along with games and all sorta stuff.

When Cry finished cleaning his room an hour had past and Felix's flight had probably been over now. If so it would only take him a few minutes to get Cry's house. " Now then what should till Felix gets here? Oh I know I'll get something to eat." Cry walked in his kitchen and grabbed a bag barbeque chips. He sat back on the soft light blue couch and turned on the TV. He got his remote, clicked the source button and went ti AV which held his roku device on it.

He grabbed the medium sized black remote with purple buttons on it and clicked 'browse anime.' He went through the simulcast and searched for new shows and found something called 'Junjou Romantica' he clicked play on the first episode and waited for it to load. Truth is Cry liked to watch romantic animes that weren't echi. Though he would never tell anyone because he would be made fun off.

The video started and Cry watch intensely.

" _No matter how you look at these grades they're pretty bad. Oniisan I'm… home." Misaki saw some male hanging on his brother trying to kiss him. _The intro played and Cry was now fully aware that this show included yaoi , boy and boy romance. "Maybe I shouldn't watch this." Cry mumbled to himself. "But is dose look interesting…so two episodes couldn't hurt…"

_The intro ended and the show continued._

"_No matter how you look at it a commoner like me should not be standing in front of a lushes condo like this with miso pork soup. But with some twisted will of fate Ahkiko Usami aka the great Usami is going to be my tutor from now on. Misaki rang the doorbell. "What the hell he's not here well he said if he wasn't there I could let myself in. Misaki put the code in and walked in the house. "Wow it's so spacious." He walked over to the small glass table and put the pot on it and saw two stacks of books on the table as well. He picked up the hard cover book that was a deep blue. "I've seen these at the book store, so he's the one who writes these. Eh what are these?" He picked up the manga and starts reading it. Then runs up the stairs and burst down Usami's door. "Hey the ones in these books are you and niichan. Pwah I knew you were a pervert! Listen niichan may be naïve but don't go dragging him into something weird! Don't take advantage of him, any guy will do right?!" Slam Usami slams his hand against the door. _

"_Did he say he was getting taken advantage of him?"_

"_No he didn't…but don't drag him into your world of fantasies!"_

"_Any guy will do… you piss me off!" Usami grabbed Misaki's wrist and through him on the bed._

"_What are you doing…Get off me!"_

"_Any guy will do you said so yourself" He put his hand in Misaki's shirt_

"_I didn't mean…ah"_

"_Dummy who got a D"_

"_You baster wait did you s.." Usami puts his other hand into Misaki's pants._

Cry blushed a crimson red from the scene and turned off the TV. "Shit! I didn't think I it would be so bad. Now I have an erection and Felix is going to be here any minute."

Bam the sound of Cry's door hitting the wall startled Cry.

"Ryan!" Felix saw Cry and went towards him.

_Shit I'm still hard._ "Felix, why are you soaked?" Slam Felix pinned Ryan to the wall. "Felix what are you…" Ryan was cut off by the blonde's lips. _They're so soft, they're cold, and they taste like cherries. Am I dreaming if so I never want it to end. _


	2. What's Gotten Into Me!

There pinned against the wall Ryan stood shocked but happy. _I love this so much but right now I need to find out what's up with Felix. He has Martzia so there's no way he would do this to me because he loves me.___ Ryan thought as he pushed the Swede away. "Felix what has gotten into you and why are you soaking wet? Ryan asked as he looked at the slightly taller male in front of him.

Felix said nothing and tried once again to push the brunette against the wall once again. Ryan slapped his hands away. "Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you!?" Ryan asked getting a bit frustrated at the fact that Felix was trying to kiss him without true feelings behind the bold action. "Felix, answer…me." Ryan was cut off guard by the Swede's eyes. They were usually a medium blue that shinned brightly in the light but what Ryan saw was not that. He saw the beautiful blue eyes clouded with despair and sadness.

Ryan knew that something was defiantly wrong now. But what could've happened in the hour they weren't talking to each other over the phone is what Ryan wondered. "Felix," Ryan cupped the blonde's face in his hand. "What's wrong? Tell me what happened." What Ryan said seemed to knock Pewdie out of whatever he was in because tears started to stream down Felix's face. "Oh, Felix don't cry. Just calm down and tell me what happened." Ryan gave Felix a gentle, reassuring smile and embraced him. Felix returned the hug.

"Ma..Martzia left me…" Felix said in a quiet voice. Ryan was shocked so much that his eyes went wide when he said that. But Ryan hugged his friend tighter trying to comfort him.

"Felix, tell me what happened." Ryan said as he pulled the Swede away from his body and kept his hands on his shoulders as he kneeled in front of him.

"When I said I was going to your house she got mad at me. I don't know why she just did. Then she started yelling at me saying that you were more important to me than her and that I should just dump her if I was going to your house. I tried to explain to her that she was just as important as you but she didn't listen and that's when she said…" Felix shut his mouth and stayed silent.

"Felix do you want to hear my opinion on this whole thing?" He nodded. " Well I say don't try to get her back. If she said those things just because you were visiting me than you're better off without her in your life. If she gets that jealous over something so small I'm pretty sure she'd be trouble for you in the future. Like if you didn't want to say who you were going to see because it was your parents or something she would probably take drastic measures just to find out who you were going to see. Truly Felix you deserve better. You deserve somebody who will always be there for you and trust you when you go see others even though they're worried. That's my opinion but if you think something else would be better just follow what your heart tells you to do."

Felix stared at Ryan and then smiled brightly his blue eyes finding their color. Ryan blushed at the sudden action from the male. "Thank you Ryan. I'm glad you're my friend." Felix fidgeted a little and then said, "But um… what are going to about that." He pointed at the erection in Ryan's pants.

"Ah um." Ryan looked where Felix was pointing then covered his area as he blushed a crimson red. An awkward silence rose between the two males.

"D… do you want me to get you off…" Felix said shyly as he blushed. Ryan blushed an even deeper red that would seem impossible for anyone else but him.

"Um… I don't think you should dirty yourself because of me so I think I'll deal with it in the bathroom." Ryan said as he started getting up. "Ow." Ryan accidently let slip out of his mouth.

"Ryan, are you sure you don't want me to help you?" Felix said as he went over to Ryan to support him as he tried to stand up."

_Oh shit him touching me will only make my erection worse._ "I'm fine so please just let go."

"But doesn't hurt? You should at least let me help you up the stairs."

"No, it's really ok. I can make it on my own."

_Ugg that's it! It's obvious that he's in pain. I can't stand here and not help. I mean it may be awkward between us for a bit but he needs to get out of that state. So I'll get him off…but it's not like it's anything besides that so it won't be that bad._ "Ryan," Felix said as he gripped his wrist hard and pulled him onto the blue couch.

"Felix, I said it was ok." Ryan tried to push Felix away. But his strength was not with him. He knew he wanted so badly for Felix to touch him and love him. But that was no way that was going to happen so he doesn't want Pewdie to dirty himself like the especially since there was no feelings behind it.

"It's not ok! You're in pain so there's no way you could make it up those stairs." Pewdie calmed down. " Just be quiet and let me do this." Ryan was struck silent; the look in Pewdie's eyes caused this. They were filled with worry and seriousness. But what made Cry sad was like he suspected there was no love in them.

Felix was surprised that Ryan didn't fight anymore but proceeded with what he was to carry out. His hand went down to Ryan's black jeans and unzipped them and pulled them down with his purple boxers. Then he pulled up his green shirt a little just in case and started rubbing Ryan's cock. Ryan let out little moans that bounced throughout his whole house.

Cry couldn't believe this was actually happening. He had to muffle his moans though. He loved Pewdie and so he knew he was going to be dying of pleasure that made his moans really loud. The feel of Pewdie stroking his dick was so amazing and sent waves throughout his whole body. He felt the pleasure build up in his hips and knew he was going to cum soon.

Felix saw that Ryan was covering his mouth so that his moans would be quieter and removed his hand. He saw that Ryan was surprised by this action but he wasn't that surprised that he looked that way. After all Felix was confused as well, for some reason he wanted to hear Ryan's sweet and sexy voice screaming in pleasure.

"Fe…Felix …cumming…ahhh!" Cry's hips buckled and a white substance came from the tip of his member and hit Pewdie in the face. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry Felix." Cry panicked and took his hand and whipped off the white substance from Pewdie's face.

"It's alright, but can I go to the bathroom real quick?" Felix said with a surprised expression.

"Yeah…" Ryan replied sadly. _I knew this would happen. Felix will probably avoid me now. Why am I so stupid?! I should've tried harder to reject him. I know I love but if he avoids me because of this I will probably end up taking my own life. I'm such an idiot!_ Ryan thought as he put his hands over his eyes blocking his tears from showing.

_What was that?! Why did I want to hear Ryan cry out in pleasure? Just what is going on? Why do I feel so aroused? Why can't the image of Ryan's face as he came get out of my mind? What is going on with me? _Pewdie thought as he leaned against the pale green wall and pulled down his blue jeans along with his blue boxers. He started to stroke his dick and soft moans escaped his lips.


	3. Leave Me Alone!

Felix had finished his business in the bathroom and left it going back down stairs to see the shorter male he had left previously. "Ryan!" Felix called before fully climbing down the stairs and got no reply. When he reached the bottom of the stairs -his black socks hitting the hardwood floor-he walked to the light blue couch and saw Ryan cupping his eyes with his hands. "Ryan, what's wrong?" Felix asked in a soft voice as he reached for his left shoulder blade to comfort the brunette. But before he got to his shoulder blade Ryan smacked his hand away, hard.

Cry's face was in plain sight now. His emerald green eyes had tears sheltered in the corner of both. Cry bared a slightly irritated look that was accompanied by sadness. But soon that expression wore off and he drawled his hand back and looked at it in shock then looked back at Pewdie whose eyes were filled with worry. And without a second thought Cry got up and ran towards the door. Slipping his shoes on sloppily he ran out the door leaving a shocked Pewdie behind.

"Ryan!" Felix called as he ran out after him. But it was too late Ryan was out of sight. _Damnit this must be my fault, for doing such vulgar actions. I didn't want to hurt him. Not him, he's the only thing I have left._ Felix thought as warm tears rolled down his face. "I have to find him. I need to find him if it's the last thing I do. I know bad people exist in this world that will do more than I did and hurt him. I can't let that happen to him, he's like a little brother to me so as the elder brother I must protect him." Felix pledged to himself as he ran back in Ryan's house and grabbed his house keys. He locked the door then started running towards town.

_Why did I run away from him? Hell if I know, but since I acted so stupid I might as well go get something to eat and get this depression off my mind._ Cry walked through the town his head low and set on the picture of his feet moving at a steady pace._ Heh, even the weather suites my mood. Raining what a funny thing, I wonder if I'll catch a cold. Well I don't even care if I do, I don't care about anything right now. My heart hurts and that's what is overpowering everything right now._ Cry smiled half-heartily as he walked through the town, every bone getting soaked thoroughly. His skin was growing numb; he could feel it as his movements slowed down with each step he took . Just as Cry felt he was going to faint he bumped into somebody. "Ah, I'm sorry…" Cry said taking a quick glance at the person and then looked back down at his shoes.

"Ryan, is that you?" At the sound of his name Cry looked up at the taller male.

"Ken?" Cry asked unsure, his eyesight still blurred from the rain.

"Yeah. So it is you Ryan. What brings you in town today?" Ken smiled brightly his teeth showing a little.

"Well you know…" Cry said his voice shaky. Then tears claimed his sight as its own. Cry's vision got even more blurred and he could only see blobs of red, brown, and tan.

"Ryan, what's wrong?" Ken asked as he grabbed Cry's shoulder but then noticed they were attracting attention and said this," Ryan, how about we go to my house so you can dry off and tell me what's wrong." Cry nodded and Ken brought Cry closer so that he was under his umbrella.

"Ryan!" Felix called looking in all directions of the street his hair getting wetter as he ran. _ Where could he be? God please say nothing has happened to him. Ryan please be safe._ Felix continued to run through the town shouting his name earning annoyed glances from people walking around town. But he didn't care he wanted to find his friend who seemed like a little brother to him.

"Ok we're here Ryan." Ken said as he pushed Cry lightly on his back so he would walk in his apartment. "Hold on a sec I'll go get you a towel and some dry clothes ." Cry nodded. As soon as Ken left the room Cry observed the features of his apartment. There was a white door at the end of a clean white leather couch meaning that his apartment was a one- bedroom apartment. The walls were a baby pink and the carpet was velvet red. The white leather couch had a glass coffee table in front of it with a neat stack of magazines on it. His whole apartment was neat. "Here," Ken said as he handed the towel and dry clothes to Cry. "Go dry off and change into those. The bathroom is through that door and to the right of it.

"Thanks Ken." Cry said with no emotion behind it as he took off his shoes and went to the bathroom. When Cry got in the bathroom he stripped and dried off and then put the clothes on. But before he left he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled weakly. _That's an idiot right there._ Cry thought as he took on last quick glance at himself in the mirror.

"So you're done." Ken said as he got up and led Cry to the nearby white couch and sat him down. He kneeled down and looked up at Cry as he put on hand on Cry's leg. "So will you tell me why you were wondering around town without an umbrella or a jacket? Did it have to do with Felix?" At the sound of Felix's name Cry went wide eyes. "I'm guessing by that reaction I'm right, So what happened?" Cry looked at his friend taking in all of his features before he started talking. Ken had brown hair just like he did but his was a little darker than Ken's. His eyes that are filled with care match his hair. He was wearing a red shirt that was short sleeved and tan pants. He also wore a bear hat on his head. After noticing that Cry started to tell him what happened and when he was through with it Ken just looked at him blankly.

Cry noticing this said, "I'm sorry for bothering you, I'll be leaving then." Cry's cheeks were flushed a light pink. He had, for the first time told someone that he loved Pewdie. He knew it was strange to other people because they were both males. He had told Ken and now was regretting that he has said anything about it.

"Ryan, you're not bothering me so you can stay." Ken said with no emotion as he grabbed Cry's wrist holding him back from moving any further.

"No, I really should be going now. I thank you for your hospitality." Cry tried to escape his grasp face still flushed a light pink. But then Ken did the unexpected and pulled Cry's wrist and forced him onto the white couch his body hovering over Cry's. "Ken what are you…" Cry was cut off by the touch of Ken's lips on his. Cry rejected it by moving his head to the side. "Ken stop! Seriously stop! Sto…" Cry was cut off again as Ken grabbed his chin and forced his head to move and then Ken kissed him again and this time trying to gain entrance to his mouth. Cry rejected again -with his face not flushed at all- by pushing his chest away from him with his hands. But Ken pushed his hands back and pinned them against the cold white leather. "Stop!" Cry protested again but Ken just kissed him again and then forced his lips open with his tongue so that he could be in Cry's mouth.


	4. I'll Get It Out of Your Mind

His eyes still searching every part of the town, Pewdie continued to run in search for Cry. He was soaked to the bone but he paid a little attention to it. And soon his whole body was numb, but he didn't care about that either his mind was dead set on finding Cry. _Wait._ Pewdie stood still. _Could he be at a friend's house? It is possible, after all Ken lives here as well. I should go check with Ken and see if he's seen Ryan._ After that thought Pewdie resumed his running and was now going in the direction where Ken's house was.

Before he knew it he was trying to catch his breath in huffs in front of Ken's door. Pewdie's hands were on his knees and he was bending down ever so slightly. When he got his breath back and had recollected himself he knocked on the door firm but not hard.

Ken jumped at the sound of his door being knocked on. He looked at Ryan his mouth still on his and then glanced at the door. But when he did that he felt a sharp pain hit his lips and parted from Ryan's lips breaking the kiss. Ryan had bit his lip along with his own. They now shared a stream of warm blood that spilled from the right corner of their lips. At the pain on his lip, Ken's brown eyes filled with rage. But just as he was about to slap Ryan he heard a familiar voice shout from behind the door.

"I know you're home Ken. I'm coming in." The voice said. Ken did not reply he just stared at the door and waited for him to come in like he had said he would. Sure enough he did, and Ken saw him. He knew he had heard the voice before but couldn't determine who it was.

"Felix, why are you here?" Ken asked in harsh and cold voice remembering what Cry had told him earlier.

"I was searching for Ry…" Felix was cut off by the scene that was displayed in front of him. Ryan was below Ken, who was sitting on his waist. Ken had Ryan's hands pinned against the couch with one hand and the other at his side calmly. Then Felix took notice of the blood at the corner of Ken's mouth and then looked at Ryan. He had blood in the same exact place Ken did. "What the hell are you doing to Ryan!?" Felix walked over to them and removed Ken's hands that were pinning down Ryan roughly. Then grabbed Ryan's wrist and pulled him out of underneath Ken, placing him next to his side and holding his shoulder lightly. The other still holding the wrist he used to pull him away from Ken.

"Oh nothing really, just comforting him and having a little." A smirk spread across Ken's face and his eyes narrowed coldly. But as soon as Pewdie saw that he let go of Cry and walked over to Ken. Stared at him with disgust and slapped him, hard. He technically bitch slapped him. Ken put his hand over the red cheek and looked at Pewdie filled with anger.

"Don't you fucking dare go near Ryan again! Never show your hideous face again to him or I swear on my life that you will have a near-death-experience or worse." Pewdie gave Ken a death glare. But that didn't frighten Ken. He was full of overpowering rage, he had just been threatened and bitch slapped from the same person. He got up and ran toward Pewdie his hand formed in a fist. When he got close enough, Pewdie dogged by moving his head towards the right then grabbed Ken's fist lifted him up in the air then putting his other hand on his stomach for support.

Ken had been flipped in the air by Pewdie and then knocked back on the floor. "Never come near us again, scum." Pewdie said in a harsh tone and then calmed down. "Come on Ryan, let's go home." He smiled gently at Cry then held his hand leading him out of Ken's apartment.

Soon Felix and Ryan reached Ryan's home. Felix pulled out the keys and unlocked the door. They both entered the house silently. "Well I'm going to go get changed out of these wet clothes." Felix said breaking the undesirable silence. Ryan nodded at him.

"I think I' m going to go to bed so…" Ryan looked at the floor then resumed. "Goodnight Felix."

Felix was silent but soon replied. "Yeah night…Ryan." Felix went towards the bathroom. And Ryan went to his bedroom.

When Cry closed his bedroom door and he went over to his bed. When he sat down he pulled his knees close to his chest and clutched them with hands hard enough that his knuckles turned white. Tears streamed down his cheeks furiously one after another. He was terrified about what had happened previously with Ken. Sure he loved another male but never did he imagine that he would be raped by one. Moreover it was one of his closest friends. He hated the thought that the first two times he had ever been kissed was from people who did not love him. He rejoiced at the first few seconds Pewdie had pressed his cherry tasting lips against his but it also hurt him deeply knowing that Pewdie had kissed him when he felt no romantic feelings toward him. And Ken, he had no clue why he made a move on him. Could it have been out of pity? Pity or could it have been plain taking advantage of him when he was hurt and wounded by the one he loved? _Why does this have to happen to me?_ Cry thought of the unanswerable question as the sound of him weeping filled the room along with tears that silently fell to his bare knees.

Felix leaned against the pale green wall for the second time that day. _Why the hell would Ken do that to Ryan!? I don't see why but either way I can't forgive him for treating Ryan that way! _ Felix thought angrily as he finished putting on dry clothes. He opened the bathroom door quietly just in case Ryan was asleep and then proceeded down the stairs and went over to Ryan's computer. _ I'm sorry Ryan I just need to look up something real quick so please forgive me. _Felix prayed then sat down at the desk chair and turned on the computer. When the vibrant light blue came up it blinded him for a few seconds then when the blinding was gone he looked at the screen. _Shit, there's a password. Ok let's see. _Felix thought as he looked around the computer desk. _I know you forget things easily so you must have written the password somewhere._ Felix continued looking around then found a light pink sticky note. _ Ah-ha found you!_ Felix grabbed the sticky note and looked at the password. It read:** Felix3 ./.**_ What a weird password you have Ryan. I know it says my name and all however I don't know what that three and acute angle mean. I swear people and their texting language._ Felix typed in the password and he was now on the homepage and looked at the home screen's picture. It was a picture of him and Ryan. Felix had his arm wrapped around Ryan's shoulder and Ryan was holding the hand that draped over his shoulder lightly. They were both smiling brightly and their eyes were sparkling. "Wait, this picture… when was it taken?"Felix asked under his breath as he tried to remember when it was. "Ah, I know! It's from the time we went to the amusement park together. "Felix said then covered his mouth with his hand cautious that he was too loud. _Ah, I know now! I will take him to a water park. That way he cheers up a little or really… get that off his mind… _

Felix clicked the internet icon and then went to google and typed in _water parks in Florida._ As a result he got several links to several sources. But one link caught his attention big time. The link was labeled: **Cat's Get Splashed" Water Park/Theme Park**. "This is it! This is where I'll take Ryan and to my convenience it's not far from this town!" Felix said excited but then quickly put his hand over his mouth again afraid that he was too loud. But soon he stopped; at the feeling that someone was watching him with a piercing gaze. Felix quickly turned around in his chair, sweat that was just formed minutes ago flying from face. "Who's there!?" He asked fear in his voice but as soon as he said that the gaze he had only felt moments ago, disappeared. Felix was scared sure enough but he had to get to sleep so Ryan and him could have fun tomorrow. With the thought of Ryan's happiness he pushed away the fear of being stalked out of his mind.


	5. I'm Sorry Cry

Morning was now arising and Felix could feel the heat of the sun warming him from the stream of light that was coming in from the navy blue curtain. Felix woke up due to the extra heat he was given and then opened his eyes slowly. Then when he came to his senses he jumped up from the light blue couch and marched up the stairs with a wide grin on his face.

He walked up to Ryan's room and knocked lightly. "Hey, its Felix can I come in?"

Ryan jumped at the sound of the voice and whipped his tears from his eyes tenderly with his thumb. He had been up all night sobbing and thinking about the events that had accrued in the last 24 hours. "Yeah…Come on in." Ryan said weekly as his voice cracked.

Felix opened the door and saw Ryan still clutching his knees to his chest. Felix seeing this walked toward him and sat down on the edge his bed. "Ryan, it's ok I'm here for you." Felix embraced the American in his strong arms.

Ryan cried once again. _If you don't love me don't be so kind to me._ Ryan thought crying harder into his knees. Shortly after Ryan pushed Felix away from him gently.

"Ryan?"

"I'm sorry Felix, but I think you should leave." His voice shook.

"Wait, what do you mean by that Ryan?" Felix asked concerned and confused.

"It means exactly what it sounds like." Ryan looked to the side sadly but coldly.

"Yeah, but why? I just got here yesterday."

"Just cause."

"Ryan, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing! Besides what would you know about me really!? You have ignored me ever since you hit 4 million bros on YouTube! How do think that makes me feel!?

"Ryan,"

"Just shut the fuck up! I can't believe I fell in love with a person like you! Uh…" Ryan covered his mouth.

Felix looked at Ryan in shock. "You love me?" Felix asked in a slow, deep voice.

Ryan looked away. _It's already too late, he knows. I might as well confirm it. I'll be rejected right away anyway._ Ryan nodded his head his cheeks turning a bit pink.

"Ryan,"

_Here it comes._

"I really don't know how I feel about you. Earlier I was thinking of you as a little brother. But when I saw Ken on top of you I got really pissed. So if I were to say so myself I would say, yes there is a possibility that I might feel the same about you. But for now just give me time to think about it ok."

Ryan started to cry a little.

"Ryan, I'm sorry. But how about we put this all aside and go to a water park?"

"Eh."

"You see I was looking it up on my phone and there's a water park/theme park near here called: **Cat's Get Splashed**. So what do you say, wanna go?" He smiled

Ryan sighed. "Sure."

"Ok then go get your stuff." Felix said grabbing Ryan's wrist and pulling him off the bed. Ryan blushed a light red.

"Wait, now!"

"Of course."

"But I don't have a swimming suit." Ryan tried to keep up as he was being dragged by the Swede.

"Where do you think we're going?"

"Eh?"

"We're going to the store; after all I don't have a swimming suit either."

"Ok, but how are we going to get there?" The American asked still being dragged by the taller man.

"Yeah about that…we're going to have to use your car."

The brunette sighed as he continued to be led to his car by the blonde. Soon the two males reached the vehicle and the Swede gasped. Cry's car was a beautiful vibrant blue sports car. It had no scratched on it at all.

_Wow, I didn't know Ryan had such an awesome car. I'm pretty sure this car was just bought yesterday, it had to have been. There's no way that this car is more than at least a year old. _Felix thought clouded in amazement. _I have to ask him. _"Hey," Pewdie turned around and looked at Ryan. Ryan blushed. "How long have you had this car?"

"U…uh about five years." The American looked down at his toes in embarrassment and grief. _How could I be so stupid! If I blush because he looks at me I'm pretty sure he'll come to think I'm disgusting and reject me when the time comes._

"No way! Your car is so clean and without scratches there's no way you've had it that long!" He said surprised.

"Well uh…it's true; I've had it for about five years."

"Tell me your secret! There's just no way someone could have such a clean car without having a trick or two up their sleeve."

"Hmm let me think…nope. It's my secret so I'm not telling you." Cry held up his pointer finger to Pewdie's face and smiled.

"So mean! Come on tell me!" The blonde whined playfully.

"N.O.P.E." Ryan chuckled.

"Come on Ryan!" The brunette shook his head and in response the Swede's body technically fell over.

"Come on let's get going. After all we have to get the store so we can get our swimming suits."

"You're right let's go. Is it ok if I drive?"

"Yeah it's no trouble. Anyway could you please let go of my hand now?"

"Ah, yeah I totally forgot that I was holding it. Sorry."

"It's alright." Felix let go off Ryan's hand.

Ryan got in the car, buckled up, and stared out the window. _He's acting like nothing happened. I can't act like this I'll be like him; I'll act as if I never said anything to him. That way we can still be friends._ Ryan thought as tears-once again- welled up in the corner of his eyes. Feeling the moist of the tears he brought his hand up and whipped them away._ No Ryan, this is for the best. I must not myself get sad over this anymore._

The car drove out of the garage and they were now heading for down town. The Swede glanced at the American._ Is he upset? I wonder if I hurt him? I hope not, I really just told him the truth. But still I hope he isn't brooding over it too much. I swear Ryan I will tell you my answer when I sort out all my feelings._ Felix thought and then turned his sight back to the rightful place.

The brunette looked at the passing buildings, his hand holding his head up. _I wonder what this land looked like when all of it was just grass and trees. I mean, I can imagine what it looked like but I can't help but actually wanting to be there and see it with my own eyes. _

_Lying in the grass, breathing in fresh air, and feeling the heat from the sun on my face. Flowers would be nearby and I would be able to smell the sweetness of them. A slow but refreshing small breeze would rustle my hair and there next to me Felix would be smiling at me with his beautiful smile. I'd be smiling back at him and we'd be holding hands enjoying the scenery together as a couple. _

Felix looked at Ryan and saw his eyes were closed. "Hey Ryan, are you asleep?"

"Eh, no why would you ask that?"

"Well your eyes were closed so I just thought that."

"Ah, you're right."

"By that you mean you didn't know that?"

"Yeah."

"How could you not notice your eyes closing?"

"I bet it was because of that image."

"What image?"

Cry shook his head and smiled gently. "I guess I just found my happy place."

"Eh?" Pewdie asked more confused than before. "Well whatever we're here."

"Already!?"

"Yeah. So let's go in." The Swede said looking down at the American still in the car.

"Yeah ok." Ryan said then slid out of his car. Then they walked in the store.

"I'm gonna go over there." Pewdie said going towards the opposite direction of Cry.

"Sure." Cry waved at him. Then started rummaging through the trunks in front of him. "Ah, this one looks awesome. Ryan was holding up a black pair of trunks that had red and blue flames at the bottom of them. Then he looked at the size and his head sunk. It was two sizes smaller than his own size. "Aww these ones looked awesome, I really wish they were in my size."

"Hey, did you find anything?" The blonde said as he walked towards the brunette with the trunks he had just got. They were blue with two black stripes on the side of each leg.

"No. These were the ones I wanted but they're too small."

"Ah, it's no big deal. Besides I found one in your size anyway just in case. I guess it actually became useful this time to get one in your size." Pewdie smiled.

"How do you know my size?"

"I don't, I just took a guess after I analyzed your body."

"Why would you…never mind. Anyway let me see them." Pewdie nodded and handed Cry the black trunks with two blue stripes on each side of the legs. Technically it was the exact opposite of Pewdie's. He looked at the size and his eyes widened. "You…actually got my size exactly right…" Ryan said shock still lingering in his voice.

"Ah, for real! That's awesome, so how about we go check out now?" Felix's smile got brighter.

"Thanks Fe…" Ryan looked at the ground then back at Felix, "Pewds." Ryan looked back at Felix and gave a weary smile. Then started off towards the cash register leaving a shocked and confused Felix behind.

_Why would he call me that now? We said we would call each other by their given name awhile back. I hurt him…I hurt him a lot, that has to be the reason. I'm so sorry Ryan. So very sorry. _ Felix thought devastated but his face was blank as he walked to the cash register and caught up with Ryan.


	6. Let's Go Have Fun!

Felix stood by Ryan still shocked that Ryan had called him by his nickname for his YouTube username. When the trunks were paid for they got back in the car and started toward the water park. Felix's hands were sweating as he beat himself up mentally about how he hurt Ryan. _I'm so stupid! I'm a horrible person to make Ryan hurt this badly. I mean to normal people this wouldn't be a big deal but to me it is. I don't want Ryan to stop being my friend just because I don't know how I feel about him._

"Pewds, are you ok?"

"Eh, yeah just thinking."

"Ok but I think it would be best if you pull over and let me drive."

"Why?"

"Because you're sweating really badly and sorry I really don't feel up to dying today."

"Sure." The Swede pulled over and got into the passenger seat. _Well that relieves some stress. But still I don't like this feeling. The feeling that I really hurt Ryan; it makes me sad and makes me hate myself for being so stupid._

"Hey Pewds, where do we turn?" The brunette said not taking his eyes off the road.

"Huh, you turn right." Pewdie turned his gaze out the window. _Damnit Felix get it together! Be calm like Ryan. He may have been blushing at every turn earlier but now he is calm so I must be too. _

_Was I too harsh with him earlier? I just didn't want to call him his actual name until he told me his answer to going out with me or not. And besides I'm having a hard time containing my reveres of him and me together alone. I'm also trying not to cry cause after I imagine those things it will never happen and I get depressed. Well whatever happens I have to be strong. I just hope that whole name thing doesn't bother Felix that much. _

_Ugg I think I should just go to asleep so that I can wake up and there'd be fun water slides. But I can't, Ryan needs me to tell him the directions to the place. Unless.._ "Hey Ryan could I just right the directions down on a piece of paper?"

"Sure Pewds, but why?"

"I'm just getting a little tired. I didn't get much sleep yesterday." The Swede said as he grabbed a sheet of college ruled paper and a pink pen. He started to write down the directions and within a minute he was done. He laid the directions on the cup holder in-between them. He closed his eyes and he was asleep in a few seconds.

Cry looked at the directions that were now laid on the cup holder to the right of him. _Wow Felix has such pretty hand writing. I've never noticed before, I wonder why I just realized it? Well it doesn't matter right now I need to get to this amusement park so I can ride on the rides and go down water slides. I can't wait!_

Several minutes passed and the American finally made it to the amusement park. He was looking for a place to park. The whole parking lot in the front row or even 10 feet away from the entrance were occupied. Finally after going up and down each row of cars there was a spot to park. _Well we'll have to walk a bit but I don't think Felix will mind…too much. _

Ryan thought then turned to the blonde. "Hey Pew…" Ryan was silenced by the sight which held strongly in front of him. _He's so handsome. _Ryan thought as he looked at his stomach slowly going in and out with each breath the Swede took. His buff chest showed when he did that. His gold locks on his forehead moved slightly in rhythm with his breathing. His face looked that of a prince's from an old fairy tale. His hand made the whole thing better it was the support for his head but that just made it sexier for Ryan. His hand being there made his face pop out more than anything. His other hand laid gently on his stomach moving up and down in rhythm with his breathing.

_Wow, Felix that is such a turn on. I can't believe you would let your guard down in front of someone who wants to ravage you. But I won't attack you Felix therefor please tell me your answer soon._ Cry thought as he brushed the bangs on Pewdie's forehead lightly. _I'm sure he'll forgive me if I just do one little thing. _Cry slightly got up and put his lips gently on the sleeping Swede's. _Yep that's defiantly cherry._ Cry smiled.

"Hey Pewds, wake up we're here." Ryan shook his body lightly.

"Hmmn … give me five for minutes." Felix said as he grabbed Ryan's waist and brought him closer to him earning a gasp from Ryan. He cuddled his head against Ryan's waist.

Ryan blushed a crimson red. "Hey Pewds, wake up!" Ryan said louder and shook him harder.

"Hmm…eh Ryan why are you so close?"

"Ask yourself!? We're here so get your stuff and let's get going! Oh and by the way get off me!" Ryan said in a loud and irritated voice.

"Uh…yeah…" Felix said then released Ryan's waist and got out of the car. And with that they each got their stuff and headed off toward the entrance. When they got there, there were several people and shortly after all the people were gone. It was now their turn to go up.

"Money please." The lady at the desk said to Felix. Felix handed her the money and she gave them two tickets to go in.

Ryan elbowed Felix once they were past the gate. "Hey Pewds I think she's a robber." Ryan said as a smile appeared on his face.

"I was thinking the same thing." Pewdie held up his hand for a high-five and Cry gave it to him. "So what ride do you want to go on?"

"Hmm I'm not sure." The American thought for a moment. "Ah, how about we go on the whirlpool."

"Cool, sounds like a plan. But first let's go change." The Swede pointed to the changing room. Ryan nodded and then they headed toward the rooms.

"Man it sure is packed." Ryan said followed by a sigh.

"Yeah, but hey if you really were in a rush you could change from out of the stalls."

The brunette blushed a little. "You idiot! Why would I do that!?" The blonde laughed at the shorter man's reply.

"Ah there's one, go in it." Pewdie pointed at the stall door that just opened and then pushed Cry toward it.

"But what about you?" Ryan tried to look at Felix.

"It's fine just go. I'll be patient and wait a bit longer."

"Ok." Ryan closed the stall door and started to change. Putting his dry clothes in his sports bag that had the words _Brofist_ on it with a picture of a fist. Ryan looked at the bag and remembered the day he was given it from Felix. It was on Christmas. It had come in, in the mail. Ryan was so happy that Felix had thought about him even though it was a holiday.

As the sweet memory faded away Cry finished putting the trunks on and was now opening the dark blue stall door. It was cool to the touch and it made the heat -which Cry was receiving from the sun- dimmer in a refreshing way. But soon the coolness was gone and he walked out of the stall. He looked around to see if Pewdie was anywhere in sight. To his surprise he was standing straight across from him with his arms across his bare chest.

Ryan's heart skipped a beat at the sight and shortly after Felix took notice of him. He walked toward the brunette and his heart sped up even more. He swore the people around him could hear it as clearly as thunder striking. But as the blonde continued to walk up to him he was aware that he was the only one who could hear his heartbeat.

"You ready to go?" The Swede smiled at him.

"Y-yeah, let's go." The American's voice stuttered lightly.

"Alright, so we're going to the whirlpool first right?"

"Yep." Ryan smiled and the weary voice from a few seconds ago disappeared.

Ryan and Felix put their sunscreen on and then made their way to the whirlpool.

"Hey, Pewds I challenge you to a competition." Ryan smirked at the blonde.

"Hmm sounds interesting what's it about?" The blonde smirked back.

"Whoever screams the loudest loses and has to by the other 5 games they want at whatever price it is."

"You're on bro."

With that they got on the ride. The one who lost was Pewdie, he had screamed like a little girl when they flew up in the air slightly. After that ride they went to several other rides and on each in every one Pewdie was the one to scream. Ryan had let a few screams out but not as loud of Felix's. Occasionally Ryan would look at the sky to check the time. When Ryan realized that the sun hung proudly in the sky he figured it was about 3 o'clock and they needed to eat.

"Hey Pewds, it's about time we eat lunch."

"Hmm you're probably right but can we ride one more ride before that?"

"Sure, which one do you want to ride?"

"The **Java Palouva**."

"Ok let's hurry then." Ryan started to run ahead of Felix.

"Ryan! Hold up for a bit!" Felix said between breaths.

"Haha no way!"

After a few minutes Felix caught up with Ryan and they were now waiting in line to get on the ride. After the _billions_ of people before them finally got on it,it was now their turn. Ryan looked down at the sign to make sure he was ready to get on the ride without any trouble when something bothered him greatly. The sign before him showed to people in a position that was going to be trouble for him. The two people in the picture showed the shorter of the two would hold onto the taller ones waist and the shorter ones legs laid on the taller mans.

_Why me!? That is such an embarrassing position to be in. God what am I going to do!?_ As Cry thought that Pewdie walked over to him and looked over the directions in a matter of seconds.

"Alright, let's go Ryan."

"R…right." The brunette walked back over to the ride and waited for the blonde to sit down. When he did Ryan got behind him and rested his legs on Felix's.

"Come on Ryan put your arms around me. It's in the directions so you need to do it." Ryan nodded and hesitantly put his arms around Felix's waist. He blushed at the contact as he felt the toughness of the blonde's muscles. Felix's skin was cold but it felt nice against Ryan's burning hot body.

_My neck is starting to hurt; I hope he doesn't mind too much_… Ryan's thoughts trailed off and he set his head against Felix's broad back.

"Go!" The person shouted and with that they were set off through the ride. Soon it was over and they got off and headed towards the food area. They got pizza and they both ate three slices of it. To go with it they both got a soft drink and Felix had three refills, Ryan had two. After eating the discussed what they would do for the rest of the time that the water park part was open. They decided to go to the lazy river.

Pewdie had gone before Cry so he didn't have to worry about being nervous. He could actually just sit back and relax. Ryan grabbed a float and headed off traveling through the calm waters.

_Ah, this feels so nice. I can just relax here with my thoughts. I guess the major thing bothering me right now is the fear I feel about Felix telling me it's never going to happen. Oh stupid Ryan! Forget about that; just go back to your happy place from earlier. _With that thought Ryan's eyes slipped closed and he was imaging the same exact thing from earlier the flowers, the beautiful soft blue sky, the gentle breeze from the wind, the itchy feeling of the grass against his bare arms, and Felix.

Ryan was almost asleep when he felt rough arms grab his bare chest and pull him to a stop. _ What's going on? Who stopped me? It can't be Felix he went ahead of me. _Right when Ryan opened his eyes he felt someone's lips on his in a rough manner.

_Ken…what the!?_ Ryan pushed Ken away roughly and swam to the edge where he saw a wide eyed Felix.


	7. 5 Years? Wow, I didn't know

Cry quickly got on the side of the lazy river and stood in front of Pewdie. "Pewds, I swear I didn't know he was here please don't get the wrong idea!

Felix stayed silent as his medium ocean blue eyes narrowed and filled with a burning rage. He pushed Ryan by the shoulder roughly and set his sight on Ken as he jumped in the water.

The Swede looked at Ken straight in the face his eyes gleaming with disgust and rage as it was before when he saw Ken on top of Ryan. After a few minutes of staring him down he clenched his hand into a fist and punched him dead in the face forcing him to fall into the cold water that splashed the blonde's heated body.

Ken got back up and stood his ground scowling at Felix. "What right do you have to punch me?" Ken asked in a silky, cruel, calm voice.

"What do you mean?" Felix responded sternly as he glared at the brunette.

"You see Felix," Ken smirked evilly, "I love Ryan unlike you. So all I was doing was showing him my feelings."

The Swede clinched his fist and frowned. "How do you know I don't like Ryan? And hah showing your feelings, yeah right! You technically molested him."

"How do I know? Cause he told me. He was so sad that you didn't return his feelings and that when you helped him get off he got hurt because you had no affections behind it."

Pewdie swallowed hard. "You baster, that still doesn't give you the right to rape him!" A dribble of sweat ran down the blonde's cheek.

"Oh it doesn't? Well you're wrong. Because I love him I could easily make him love me back. I think he deserves to be loved. He's stunningly handsome and has such a sexy voice. Just imaging him flustered and his bare body below me is enough to set off the trigger. And really having an unrequired love for 5 years, I mean geez he is so sexy I can see several females founding over him with their stupid acts of kindness and their stupid pleads just to be alone with him on a date. But yet he has never been in one relationship since he started loving you. Yet you do something so vulgar with no feelings of love behind it. Am I really the enemy here?" Ken smirked mockingly as those coursed words left the his lips and got of the water and walked away from the blonde.

_Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!___Felix clenched his fist once again and looked to his side in frustration. _Ken pisses me off! _ The blonde sighed. _But that's not really what pissed me off. It's what he said. Wither I like it or not it was the truth. 5 years, that is such a long time. Yet I didn't know or even got the slightest clue that he loved me. Man I'm cruel. It must have been torcher for him to see me with Marzia. I hurt him several times over the years; I had to have, and getting too distracted with making videos that I didn't even come and visit him must've been horrible. Yet he still stayed loyal and waited for me, no not 'waited' waiting. He's still waiting for me to answer his confession. Shit! Why had I never noticed!?_ The Swede thought as he got out of the water and went over to his American companion. Pewdie pulled a fake smile, "Come on let's get out of here." He said in a caring voice. Ryan nodded and started walking back to the changing room.

Cold air brushed over the American's bare chest making him shiver slightly. It was now 5 P.M. and the sun was setting. The clouds and the sky were stained a variety of pinks, oranges, and yellows. _It's so beautiful._ Ryan admired as he looked up at the sky. Cry continued to the changing rooms with a silent Pewdie walking besides him. _I'm worried. I couldn't hear what Ken and Felix were saying in the water. I'm seriously curious and scared at the same time. They could've talked about something bad and that's why I'm scared. But I can't stop the curiosity from spreading throughout my mind about what they said. Maybe I should ask Felix what's got him so silent._ Ryan nodded to himself just as he turned to go in the changing room.

"Hey Pewds, what's got you so silent?"

Felix gasped at the sudden question. "Oh, it's noth…" The blonde was cut off as he slammed into the wall.

"Pewds!" Ryan's words escaped from his lips in a concerned tone. "Are you ok?" Ryan offered to help Felix up to his feet.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Felix pushed away Ryan's hand and got up himself. He rubbed his now red nose and walked into the changing room, not waiting for the American in the process.

_What did I do? Felix why did you do that? I don't get it, why must it always be like this? I don't want him avoid my touch or me. Maybe it would be better if I just tell him that he doesn't have to worry about giving an answer and just shrug off my confession. _A warm tear traced the outside of the brunette's cheeks and jawline. He whipped them away with the back of his hand._ No, I can't cry. This is for the best. Besides if Felix is happy I am too, so if I have to stay with this unrequired love I will. I would do anything to see him smile. If I have to suffer I will. _

Ryan walked into the changing room and went to the same stall as before. He got changed quickly and stepped out of the stall and searched for the Swede. It took him a while to find him. He was in the far right corner looking out in a daze as if he was in deep thoughts. "Hey Pewds, let's go." Ryan waved at the blonde male but he didn't respond. The American walked toward Felix. "Pewds?"

Felix snapped out of his daze and looked down at the shorter man. "What is it?"

"Let's go home."

"Yeah. Right, let's go."

After a long walk back to their car they drove home in silence. When they got there Cry unlocked the door and they entered the quarters of a comfy home. Heat engulfed both of them as they walked in.

"I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. If you need anything you can wake me up." Ryan broke the long lasting silence.

"Ok."

Ryan walked up the wooden stairs, his head low._ Felix…dose he hate me now?_ Ryan walked into the bathroom slouching against the door once it was closed. He slowly undressed and got in the shower. As he felt that dashes of warmth all over his body, Ryan rested his head on the shower wall._ Man I really wish I was normal. Loving a male watching romance animes, could I be even weirder for a teenage male? If I liked girls I wouldn't have to feel this much pain or even better, not love anyone. If I were independent I wouldn't hurt so much I wouldn't have such desires as I do now? Damnit! Why do all these things have to happen to me!? I hate the throbbing of my hurt heart that beats loudly in my chest. _

Cold tears that blended in with the water that was flowing all over the brunette's body. Soon enough after sobbing in the restroom Cry walked out of the room with a slightly refreshed air around him.

He was wearing sweat pants that were loose on his slim figure and a plain white t-shit. He walked across the hallway to his bedroom. He opened the door and sat on his bed clutching his knees as the night before. The room was silent and Ryan started to review the stressing day's events. When reviewing the amusement park he began to notice Felix's bare chest more. Every detail coming to him in his mind. Soon enough he got an erection. _Well shit! Why does this always happen? _Cry held the back of his head and it hung in shame on his knees.

"Well there's no helping it now." He mumbled under his breath. He pulled his pants and boxers down reviling his hard member. _Might as well try something new. _The American pulled off his t-shirt and started messing with his nipples. The rubbing of the nipples matched the rhythm of him pumping his dick. Muffled moans filled the small quarters of his bedroom as he bit his lip. Blood flowed from the bit but he didn't care. He continued the process trying to get himself off as he thought of Felix's smell, appearance, lips, body heat, naked body, and other things like them having sex.

Felix roamed the kitchen in search for food. _ Hmm what should I eat? Ah, I know an egg sandwich. So I need the spatula, spray oil, a plate, sliced ham, sliced cheese, bread, and a pan. Ok, spatula…check _

_Spray oil…check_

_Plate…check_

_Sliced ham…check_

_Sliced cheese…check_

_Bread…check_

_Pan…umm where was that again? _Felix thought back to what Ryan had said to him before getting in the shower. _I'll go ask Ryan where it is. I need to tell him not to worry about me. He looked worried about me earlier when I pushed his hand away. I have to tell him that I meant nothing by it. _Pewdie walked up the stairs, looked at the bathroom, saw it was empty and then went to Ryan's room and opened the door.

"Hey Ryan, I need to kn…." Felix was cut off by the position Ryan was in. His legs spread apart wide, his hand on his dick, his other hand gripping his nipple, and face flushed with pleasure and desire. His eyes were teary and wide with surprise.

"Ry…an"


	8. Where Did You Go?

Pewdie stood in the doorway of Cry's bedroom shocked. He had just walked in on Cry when he was masturbating. He stared at the sight displayed in front of him blankly. The only sound that filled the room was Ryan's panting.

"Don't look! Get out!" Ryan said blushing an even darker red than before.

Felix took a few minutes to let Ryan's command to sink in. Once Pewdie came to his senses he rejected the command and walked over to the bed.

"What are you doing!? Get out of here!" Ryan protested helplessly. But that didn't stop the Swede. He lifted one leg on the bed and continued till he was completely on it.

_What am I doing!? Why is my body acting on it's own!? _ Felix thought as he took his finger and traced from Ryan's feet all the way to his neck. Ryan shivered at the pleasure that the tracing gave.

"Damnit Pewds stop messing with me!" Pewdie's hand went down to Cry's erection and started rubbing. "Ahn st..op" Ryan managed to say in-between moans.

"You mean touch me more." Felix smirked. _What the hell am I saying!?_

"No! ah!" Ryan felt the pressure of Felix's rubbing go up. "I don't…want…this. You…" Felix put his hand over Ryan's mouth.

"Just be quite and let me take you."

Ryan was so shocked that Felix was doing this. He looked him in the eyes to see if he was serious, sure enough he was. But when he looked into his eyes they weren't the medium blue he knew they were a very dark blue, almost black. When he saw that he knew there was no way he was going to stop so he just gave up and waited for him to make the next move.

Once Felix saw Ryan's pre-cum he stopped stroking and put mouth on Ryan's member. He felt the heat in his mouth and started to lick the top.

"Ah…Pewds…if you do… that I'll …ah!" Ryan came in Felix's mouth, his back arching and hands tangled in the blonde's hair. Felix swallowed the come and stood up on his knees looking at Ryan with lustful and dangerous eyes. "Pewds…please no more… I can't accept this..." Ryan breathed between pants.

Felix ignored his protest and held down his hands against the bed. He grabbed a nearby belt and tied them together. Felix unzipped his pants and took off his shirt. He pulled Ryan's bottom half up and positioned him and then thrust a finger in his back entrance.

"Ah!" Ryan screamed out in pain. "It…hurts…"

_Shit! It's even his first time. I need to stop but my body won't listen! Just what the fuck is wrong with me!? This is wrong! I'm going to hurt Ryan badly both emotionally and physically if I don't stop now!_ Felix thrust in and out slowly at first. He gradually added a second finger going a bit faster trying to find the sweet spot in Ryan.

"Ahhhh!" Ryan screamed and Felix smirked, he had found it. Ryan's eyes filled with pleasure and desire. Felix obeyed at the sight and slid a third finger in. Shortly after a few thrust Felix positioned himself at Ryan's entrance and looked at Ryan. He looked away but nodded slightly. Felix smirked and with one push he was in Ryan. Thrusting in him as he shot up several times from the bed.

Felix was near his climax and could feel it. Ryan was a little bit away but Felix fixed that by pumping him in rhythm with his thrust. _THIS IS WRONG! I don't like this, damnit! _Felix thought as he reached his climax and fell on top of a panting Ryan. A few seconds passed and Felix plopped over next to Ryan as he gradually fell asleep besides the brunette cradling him in his arms.

Several hours had past and a naked Felix was sitting up on the bed his eyes shut and hand holding his head up. _I need to leave. After today I can never face Ryan again. I'll go somewhere far so I won't meet him again. That is for the best for both of us. _Felix stood up and then turned back to Ryan. He bent over and gently stroked the short dark brown soft hair as he did so he earned a smile from the sleeping male. "Goodbye…my friend" Felix whispered lightly near Ryan's ear causing him to shiver slightly. He stood back up pulled his clothes and went down stairs.

He stood staring at the light blue door in front of him and gulped. _This is goodbye. I won't see Ryan ever again. I'm sure that's what he wants._ As Felix thought this warm tears rolled down his face. His eyes went wide at the action his body had taken and quickly brushed the tears away with the back of his hand. _I don't deserve to cry I'm the one who caused this scandal and with every action there is a consequence_! With that he opened the door went outside and stared back at the house once more. "Goodbye…" he muttered under his breath. He walked off heading in the direction of the airport, his head low.

Ryan woke up several hours with sleep eyes. He struggled to get to a sitting position and looked around for Felix. "Felix?" He lifted the side of the blanket next to him and felt the mattress underneath it. _It's cold! Just how long has Felix been gone! _ Ryan started to panic. He tried to get up from the bed but pain from his back side prevented him to do so. _Damnit! Why does it have to be like this!? Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! _Ryan thought as he beat his knuckle against the floor. "Felix…why?" Ryan bit his lip and started to cry.

After crying awhile Ryan pulled enough strength to his arms to pick his body and sat back down on his bed. Pulling his covers over himself as he clutched his knees once again to his chest and started to bawl into them. He had no clue what to do. He couldn't go after Felix like this and he had a feeling that he wouldn't find him anyway. _Felix why? I love you but you don't feel that way about me, so why? Just why would you do something like that to me? Why would you just leave me here without telling me where you were going? Will you ever come back? Did you just feel so disgusted with me that you could only do a one-nighter? _

_Why the hell am I thinking this? I already know he hates me and will never come back. These thoughts only have negative answers and their just stupid._ "Haha" Ryan laughed bitterly at himself, "I'm such an idiot." Ryan started to cry again, the bitter smile still not fading but turning to a sad one.

_Felix…._Ryan thoughts filled with the times they spent together as he slowly drifted to sleep with his tearstained face and broken heart.


	9. He's Safe Thank God!

It's been two years since Ryan has seen Felix. In the first few weeks of him missing he searched everywhere he could think of. He didn't find him and after a while he checked YouTube and saw he hadn't made any recent videos. When he looked down at the comments several were asking where he was and why he wasn't uploading video. Ryan had cried day in and day out wanting him to come back, yearning for him.

He had nightmares about what could have happened to him and dreams when he finally came. He also had dreams about him returning his love for him.

During this whole time Ryan didn't make videos either he just sat at home depressed in a daze of Felix and him together. He ordered fast food all the time, his lights in his house were rarely ever on. The only time he would ever go out was to work at his part time job which was working at a nearby convenience store and that barley happen. At least not till recently. His boss said he needed to help because many of the other employees had either quit or took the day off. Today his shift was from 3 PM to 10PM, it was a long shift but Ryan couldn't afford to quit his job. He already had to deal with the guilt, pain, and regret from Felix leaving two years ago.

The door of the store rang and Ryan pulled a smile. "Welcome." He said as cheerfully as he could. But for some reason the customer avoided eye contact with him. _How rude! I can't believe he would do that! Here I am saying 'welcome' as cheerful as I can even though I've been through a lot of depression lately! Geez I can't believe some of these customers!_

After a few minutes later the man came to check out with a few vegetables and meat. Ryan looked at the customer's features. He had a long blonde beard, his shaggy hair matched and he had medium blue eyes.

_Wait a minute, now that I look at him he looks a lot like Felix except for an older version_. Could he be…? No there's no way… After the men realized he was being stared at, he coughed then looked to the ground. _It is him! There is no way someone would just do what he just did without some reason. _

Ryan reached for the man's face and turned it to face him. "Pewds?" The man jerked his head away as his eyes went wide.

The man tried to escape the place as he grabbed his bag of groceries but Ryan forbade him from doing so by grabbing his arm. Ryan now knew it was Felix but said nothing. He forced him forward and put his lips on Felix's. Felix's eyes went wide and tried to escape but Ryan didn't let him.

"Felix," Ryan's eyes watered. "I've been looking for you. Just where the hell did you go?! Ryan hugged him over the counter then looked side to side. "Come on let's get out of here." He whispered. The blonde nodded and waited for Ryan to get around the counter. He grabbed Felix's wrist and yelled to his manager, "Boss I'm feeling sick so I'm leaving!"

"Ok!" he heard his boss say as he left through the front doors with Felix's wrist in his hand tightly.

Soon they were at Ryan's house and as Felix walked in Ryan locked the door. Ryan looked straight at Felix. "Where the hell have you been?!" Ryan started to cry. "I looked for you and never could find you! Just what the hell have you been doing! Even if you didn't contact me you could've made videos on YouTube so your fans didn't worry and at least then I would've had a clue that you were ok! Do you know how scared and worried I was about you!?"

"Ryan, please just calm down." Felix edged toward him slowly.

"Calm down you say. How could I? I was scared, I thought you died!"

"I'm sorry Ryan, I really am." Felix said and then hugged Ryan when he was close enough. "I thought you hated me. That's why I left and I'm really sorry for worrying you." Felix hugged him tighter. Ryan returned the hug and buried his face in the Swede's broad shoulder.

"Felix, I'm so glad you're back." Ryan cried harder. Felix went wide eyed at the sound of his name and held the brunette tenderly.

"I'm glad to be back Ryan." The blonde smiled gently.

The stayed like that for a while until Ryan interrupted moment. "Hey Felix could you know, cut your hair and beard? It's sorta discussing.

Felix backed a few steps away from Ryan and felt his beard and hair. "Ah, you're right."

"You didn't know?"

"Well I was too busy traveling to realize that it had grown out."

"Traveling?" Ryan cocked one of his eyebrows up.

"Well then I'll be barrowing your bathroom." Felix rubbed the back of his head as he nervously backed away from Ryan. _ Few that was a close one._ Felix thought as he entered the bathroom, undressed and got in the shower. _Still I'm glad he doesn't hate me. But know I have to tell him my feelings. I thought I never would've sorted them out but when I went on that long journey I found out exactly how I feel about him._ Felix got out of the shower and went over to the sink and got a razor. He shaved his beard off and then got scissors. He cut his hair a shortish-longish style and looked at himself in the mirror. He smiled and thought, _wow I look smexy. _But then turned serious. _Ok now what's left is to tell Ryan how I feel about him._

_I wonder what's taking him so long? _Ryan asked himself as he paced back and forth waiting for the blonde to walk down the steps and show himself. Finally he walked down the steps looking like the man Ryan knew.

"Ryan I need to tell you something could we please take a seat on the couch?"

"Why are you being so formal?" Ryan asked nervously as he headed to the light blue couch which held several important memories from two years ago for the both of them. They both took a seat and faced each other. _Could this be the moment where Felix tells me the answer to my confession? But there's no way he could remember that I even said anything. It's been two years for Christ sake. I doubt it was even important to him so what could this be about? _

"Ryan," Felix swallowed hard. "I think it's about time I tell you my answer."

_No way. I don't want to hear this! _Ryan covered his ears and crouched down. I know what he's going to say!

"Ryan, listen to me." Felix tried to remove Ryan's hands from his ears but Ryan held tighter.

"NO! I don't want listen!"

"Ryan!"

"NO!"

Felix bit his lip then leaned over to Ryan. He kissed him. He forced the kiss to get deeper as Felix forced his tongue in Ryan's mouth, Feeling his heat.

_There it is again that cherry flavor. Man how I've missed it. _Ryan's wide eyes disappeared as he thought that.


	10. I Did My Research, Ok!

Felix pulled away from Ryan and looked at his now red face. "I love you." Ryan could've cried right that second but kept them in and gave the blonde a hug instead.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Ryan hugged Felix tighter.

"What can I say you're just so adorable. And I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you."

Ryan shook his head as he pulled away from Felix, with his hands still draped over his shoulders. "No, it's ok. All that matters is that you have returned my feelings. I'm so happy I could die right now."

"Hey, you can't die."

Ryan laughed, "I know, I know but you know, I think it's about time you tell me where you went."

Felix started to back away from him. But then Ryan gave him the look and he stopped grabbing the brunette's hands in the process. "Ryan, I was traveling."

"Ok, I know that much. But where were you traveling?"

"Several places. However I didn't go back to my country. I traveled through the states here and through Europe. Really anywhere you could think of is where I went." He smiled slightly.

"Japan?

"Yep."

"Russia?"

"Yep."

"Southern Korea?"

"Yep."

"Australia?"

"Yep."

"Africa?"

"Yep."

"Austria?"

"Yep."

"Damn you really have been to a lot of places."

"Told you so." The blonde smirked at the still shorter man.

"Oh, Shut up." The American stood up hands still intertwined with the Swede's.

"Why are you getting up?" Pewdie asked getting up still not breaking their connection.

"I want to get some food."

"Oh, ok I want something too."

"Sure just let me go find something and I'll cook it."

"You can cook?"

"Well yeah and pretty damn good if I do say so myself." Cry smirked at Pewdie and then let go of his hands as he turned to the kitchen. Pewdie whined at the loss of the warmth but followed after the short male. Once he stepped in the kitchen he saw a horrified looking Ryan. Felix rushed to his side to see if it was anything serious.

"Ryan, what's wrong?"

"Nothing important I just sorta forgot the state of my kitchen. Wait," The brunette trailed of and ran to the refrigerator, Felix not far behind. "I thought so there's really nothing I'll be able to cook with in here. Sorry Felix, I wanted to cook you a homemade meal but obviously I can't do that with any of that." Ryan looked back at Pewdie with an apologetic expression but when he turned around to see Felix he was scowling. "Felix, what's wrong?" Ryan asked nervously backing away from the superior aura.

"What's wrong nothing! How the hell have you been eating while I was away!?"

"Well I sorta ate out all the time." Cry said in a small voice.

"And you're telling me sorry for not having any ingredients to cook with?" Ryan nodded. "God damnit Ryan! Get off your lazy ass and go to the store!" Ryan nodded but stayed in one place. "Really, Ryan when I say go to the store you sorta need to get ready to go."

"Oh, right. But what about the kitchen? If I get back from shopping it will be pretty late."

Felix face-palmed himself and said, "I'll take care of the cleaning so just go."

"Ok." Ryan said and then started for the stairs. When Ryan got to them he went up them and went to his room. _Man I'm such an idiot! I can't believe I just got yelled at from my boyfriend! And over eating orders! How stupid could I get! _Ryan thought angrilyas he crossed the hall and went into the bathroom. He got dressed in a classic t-shirt that was black and normal jeans that were a dark blue. After he put cologne on he made his way down the stairs. "I'm leaving now!" Cry called to Pewdie who was stacking what seemed like millions of dishes. Cry grabbed the keys and Pewdie heard the jingle the always make and made his way to Ryan. "Felix, what's up? I just told you I was about to leave." Ryan managed to finish his sentence as he stared at the blonde in amazement. His dirty blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail that was suitable size for the length of his hair. His hair being pulled back, Ryan could see his medium ocean blue eyes pop out at him. He had stripped of his shirt and laid it on a nearby chair. He was now wearing a white tank top.

"You are not taking the car." Felix said sternly.

"Eh, but why?!"

"Well let's say you probably need to do some walking. Eating all that fast food, seriously what were you thinking?"

"Felix, that's mean…" Ryan said as he started to cry.

"Oh gosh I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you I just want you be healthy." Felix lowered himself to Cry's sight line and whipped away his tears tenderly with his thumb. "I don't want there to be anything that can bring you closer to death." Pewdie smiled and kissed Ryan lightly. But Ryan surprised Felix by entering his mouth and fighting for domination. Felix gave in letting small moans out of his mouth as Ryan worked his way in his mouth. Then finally Ryan broke the kiss leaving a trail saliva on Felix's chin, showing that he had taken the lead for once but he had one too in the exact spot. But that didn't last long he smiled at Felix, innocently then whipped it away with the back of his hand. He headed for the door hanging up his keys and grabbing his wallet.

Felix was left shocked and now blushing a bright red. _What the hell was that!? How did he learn to do that so skillfully!? _The blonde thought as he brushed his hand over his lips and held them there for a bit. He shook his head and mumbled, " I got to get back to cleaning." Felix walked in the kitchen once again and looked around smelling the horrid smell of mold and spoiled food. Then he walked over to the refrigerator and saw nothing but spoiled fast food and sighed. _I sure got my work cut out for me_. The blonde sighed again and then made his way back to the sink and turned on the water starting his job.

_While I'm glad Felix is worried about me he could have said something nicer._ Ryan thought as he roamed the ails looking for something he should cook for Felix and himself. _ Maybe I should make something fancy and drink wine. Hmm no I should make something fancy and have sparkling. That way there's no alcohol, I'm a bad drunk anyway. Yep that's the way to go. But what is something fancy to eat? Pork with some vegetables on the side? A casserole? Ugg I just don't know! Hmm…_ Ryan's thought's trailed of as he saw some premade sandwiches that were cut in triangles. _That's perfect! I know what to get!_ Ryan picked up the sandwiches and made his way over to the deli. He got some cold friend chicken, a box of cake mix, cold potato salad, and some sparkling. After successfully getting all these things for dinner he smiled and went to the cash register to buy his products. He paid and grabbed his bags and headed home still smiling as he walked.

"I'm finally done," Felix whipped the sweat off his forehead. "With the dishes. Now I have to clean out the fridge." Felix went to the bathroom put gloves on and went to the fridge. He brought the garbage can to him and started to sweep things of the shelves and dump them in the garbage. Once he had cleared the fridge completely out he took the garbage out and came back in. He got the sponge and whipped down the shelves. Just as he threw the sponge away he heard the door open and went to it. "Welcome home." He said to the brunette who just came in and was now taking off his shoes.

"Good to be back." Ryan walked past the blonde and went to the kitchen. "Oh, my gosh I can actually see my counter!"

"Yep, now if you'll excuse me I should change out of these clothes so I don't smell like spoiled food. Mind if I barrow some clothes and take a shower?"

"Go ahead I'll start cooking while you're changing." Ryan started to unpack the grocery bags. Putting the items on the counter.

"Sounds like a plan see you in about ten."

"Kay." The American said not moving his eyes away from the food items. Pewdie went up the stairs and Cry was now in the kitchen alone. He finished unloading the items on the counter. He grabbed the light purple table cloth and opened it. He threw the plastic bag it came in away and set it up neatly on the table. _Thank god I went to that other store! This will make it more romantic for us._ Ryan thought as he went back to the counter and grabbed the candles that were in a holder that had three slots, he had two of these and placed them on the table across from each other horizontally. _Now to get the lighter._ Cry thought excitedly as he went to a drawer in the kitchen a got out a dark blue lighter and brought it to the candles and lit them. _Now the food!_ The brunette went to the cabinet and got four plates out. He set up two plates across each other vertically the other two horizontally a little ways from the candles in the front. He went back to the kitchen grabbed a medium size bowl and put that in the middle of everything but a little to the left. Then he grabbed two spoons putting them beside the vertical plates. Finally he grabbed another medium size bowl put ice in it and got the two bottles of sparkling. He put the bottles in the bowl with their labels showing and put the bowl next to the other bowl in the middle. He then got the cold fried chicken and heated it up in the microwave. Put them on the plate to the left, then grabbed the sandwiches and put them on the plate across from the chicken, got the container of potato salad grabbed a wooden spoon from the kitchen and emptied the container into the bowl next to the sparkling._ Last thing, start the cake._ Ryan grabbed the box of cake mix after putting on his plain white apron and read the instructions. After reading through the instructions he set the oven to 450 and waited for it to preheat .After a few minutes it did and by then Cry had already mixed the cake mix with the eggs ,oil, and water. He poured the mixture in two circler cooking pans. 25 minutes passed and he took it out of the oven then let it set of the stove for 5 minutes then it was done. It came out perfectly when he put it on the plate. Then he put purple frosting on the first part of it, then put the second part of it on top of that part and covered it with the rest of the purple icing. _Perfect! Now to put it in the fridge till we finish eating._ The brunette thought then put the plate with the cake on it in the fridge._ Now for the finishing touch…_Cry thought then went over to light switch and turned off. He made his way back to the table and sat down waiting for Pewdie to make his way down here.

_Finally I'm done! I didn't want to smell like spoiled food so I guess going over my body 5 times with soap was necessary._ Felix thought as he got dressed in Ryan's dark blue t-shirt and his black blue jeans. _Wow, I just realized that what I'm wearing is exactly the opposite of what Ryan is wearing._ Felix blushed at the thought and then quickly made his way to the stairs. He stopped at the top noticing that there was no light below. _I wonder what's up? _The blonde pushed the thought away and made his way down the stairs. He saw a light glow and went towards it.

"Hey Felix~" Ryan said in his normal voice.

"Ah!" The Swede screamed in horror and backed up.

"'Ah' what's up with that reaction Felix? I'm hurt, I did all this for you." Ryan got up and went towards the blonde.

"Oh sorry," Felix said as he took in his surroundings. "It's great thank you." Felix leaned down and kissed the brunette tenderly.

"Well then," Ryan took the taller man's hand in his own. "shall we start eating."

Felix blushed once again. "Yeah." He fallowed the brunette and sat down across from him. "You really did go all out with the table cloth and the candles. I never thought you could be so romantic."

"What's that supposed to mean!...I just do my research…" Ryan blushed thinking about the show he had watched two years ago while waiting for Felix to get to his house. Felix chuckled at the response he got from the male across from him then started eating. Ryan did the same.

A few minutes passed and with a little bit of chatter here and there they finished eating. Ryan was ready to get the cake out but Felix had different plans. He blew out candles and grabbed Ryan's wrist and led him up the stairs. When he got to the top of the stairs he went towards the bedroom and opened the door flinging Ryan on the bed. "Felix," Ryan said as he looked at the blonde who was standing at the edge of the bed. But shortly he was hovering above him. Felix passionately kissed him, it got deeper within seconds. But when Felix broke the kiss he fell on top of Ryan. "Hey Felix what's wrong!?" Ryan asked panicking as he saw Felix's eyes shut and twitching beneath his eyelids. Sweat was rolling down his face at such a fast pace Ryan was having a rough time whipping it away with his arm.

"Shit! I need to call a doctor!" Ryan picked up Felix and put him on his back . For a grown man he was light but Ryan was still having trouble going down the stairs with the extra weight. When he finally made it down the stairs he laid Felix gently on the light blue couch. He grabbed the phone and called 911 then ran over to the light switch and turned it on. Then ran back over to the sick male and sat on the floor next to the couch and held his hand tightly as he waited for the police to answer the phone.

"This is 911 please state your emergency ."

"I need an ambulance right away! My brother fell unconscious and is sweating really badly!"

"Sir please calm down. Tell me your address and we'll be right there."

Ryan calmed down and told the person his address. 2 minutes later the ambulance showed up.

"May I ride with him?" Ryan asked the person who was watching to other men pull Felix on a stretcher and put him in the back of the ambulance truck.

"Are you a relative of his?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm his brother." Ryan lied with no hesitation.

"Then please this way." Ryan got in the truck and sat on the side steadily watching Felix. Worry filled his mind and his heart was beating really fast. He was scared. Sweat ran down his face and down his hands. The sweat soon damping Ryan's dark brown hair, made it stick to his forehead. Ryan whipped his hands on his dark blue jeans and then held Felix's hand tightly. _Please be ok! Please be ok! Please be ok! Wait…_Ryan realized something, _could this be my fault? After all I did prepare the food and after he was done eating this happened. If that's true then I don't know what I'd do. I'm sorry Felix, please get better! Please be ok!_


	11. Man, It's Just Not My Day!

Ryan sat on a bench outside of the hospital room that Felix was in. He held his hands together tightly as they sweat like crazy. His head was on top of his entangle hands and eyes shut close. He was slightly rocking back and forth inpatient. He was waiting for the doctor to tell him what was wrong with the man he loved. He had waited about 20 minutes already and was hoping it wasn't anything serious. Just then he saw a familiar female approach him. He looked up from his sweaty hands and saw Marzia. She was dressed in a casual pair of blue jeans and a jacket that was unzipped slightly reviling her black 'Brofist' shirt. Along with her jeans she wore dark brown boots that went up to her knee.

"Marzia, why are you he…." The brunette was cut off by the pain that suddenly hit his right cheek.

"You homo! How dare you still my boyfriend for three fucking years!" Cry put his hand over the now burning right cheek then looked at Marzia who was now crying as she glared at him, her hand still in the same position she had after slapping him. But slowly Cry's wide eyes turned into a glare.

_Why should I have to take this when the person I love is in a hospital room?! And why do I have to here this jealous chick bitch about how I stole her boyfriend?!_ Cry thought then took his hand away from his cheek and glared at her straight in her eyes as if he was looking into her soul. "What are _you_ doing here?" Ryan repeated his unfinished question from last time in a cold and harsh voice. Marzia backed up slightly at the unusual attitude from the brunette. But then stood her ground.

"Well it's been three years since Felix left and in the second year he stopped making videos. So I finally decided to come and check things out but when I got to your house every light was turned off so I went to your neighbor and asked if they knew where you were and they said you were heading here so I'm here." She said coldly as her glare held strong against Ryan's face, her tears vanishing as she did so.

"It would've been better if you stayed home." Ryan continued to glare and talk coldly.

"Excuse me."

"Cause then I wouldn't have to tell you the bad news."

"What?"

"You and your so called boyfriend are through! He loves me now. Of course I wouldn't blame him; I wouldn't wanna be with a jealous bitch like you either."

"What was that?"

"Oh, and believe me there were several other things that is wrong with a bitch like you. Now go home! Felix doesn't need you in his life anymore so get the hell out of here!"

Marzia glared then turned and left. "Tell that homo boyfriend of yours to never contact me ever again." She said not bothering to turn and face the American who was still glaring at her as she left.

Just as Ryan turned to face the room Felix was in the doctor came out and walked toward him. "How is he?" Ryan asked the coldness in his voice gone as if it never existed.

"You said you were his brother, correct?"

"Yes sir."

"Well the truth is we don't know if his condition is stable or not."

"What do you mean?!" Ryan grabbed the doctor by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer.

"Sir please calm down," He put his hands up in surrender; "we've never seen the type of virus he has before. Tell me, has he been out of the country?"

"Yes." Ryan responded as he let go of the doctor.

"If you tell me where he's been I can ask my superior if I could call all the hospitals in that area."

"Ok, but sir he's been to several countries. Should I just write down where he's been?"

"Yes, that would be a great help."

"Could I have a piece of paper and a pencil?"

"Certainly sir." The doctor handed Ryan the clipboard he was holding. Ryan sat down on the same bench he was sitting on before and started to write every country and every stated Felix had been to. When he finished the list it was a page long front and back. He handed it back to the doctor. "Sir, this might take a while. Could we you give me your home and cell phone number that way I can be in contact with you if anything happens?"

"Yes sir," Ryan took the card the doctor gave him and wrote down both numbers. "Please proceed with calling me if anything happens." Ryan said and then the doctor left. _Sorry, I know it will be a lot of work for you but please don't let Felix die._ Ryan thought as he headed for the exit, his head low. His eyes were filled of depression, worry, and really if anyone described them now they would probably say they look dead. As Ryan neared the exit he saw a familiar brunette and apparently he took notice of Cry too cause he was now heading towards him. Ryan quickened his pace as he tried to exit the hospital but was stopped just as he reached the door. He was pulled back, hard, by the wrist and there in front of him was Ken. _Shit! I totally forgot Ken's a doctor! This isn't going to be good._

Ken led him to his office and shut the door behind him and locked it. "Ryan, I've been wanting to talk to you," Ken took notice of the red spot on Ryan's cheek and when Ryan realized what he was looking at he covered it with his hand. "What happen?" Ken asked as he got closer and reached out to touch it.

"None of your business." Ryan said coldly as he pushed his hand away from him. But as he did so Ken grabbed his hand and held it tightly enabling any type escape from the shorter male. Ryan started to panic as sweat rolled down the side of his face. "Let go!"

"No." Ken gripped his hand tighter than pushed him against his desk with his leg between Ryan's forcing it to touch his cock through his pants and boxers. _Felix! _Ryan called in his mind but stopped. _No Felix isn't able to help me this time. I have to deal with this myself!_

Ryan blushed at the sudden contact then collected himself as the blush vanished and rage took its toll. "Get off of me!" Ryan shouted but before he could say anything else Ken pressed his lips against Ryan's by force. Ryan moved his head away from Ken's breaking the kiss forcibly and pulled his hand out of Ken's. Ken backed up a little but then grabbed Ryan's chin hard and forced him to face his way.

Ryan glared at Ken then kicked the back of his leg with his foot causing Ken to get off of him. Ryan stood up on his feet and scowled. When Ken was about to push him back down with anger showing in his eyes as he closed the distance between them. When Ken almost touched him Ryan bitch slapped him. He hit him hard enough that the sound echoed of the walls in the small room.

"BACK THE FUCK UP!"


	12. I'll Wait For You My Love

Ken fell down from the outburst Ryan had just had. Now the brunette stood tall from where he was on the ground. His chest was stuck out, or at least it looked like that from where Ken was, and hands clutched into a fist.

"Don't you ever and I mean ever, fucking touch me again!" Ryan yelled, "I don't love you! I love Felix, so just stay away from me! It's disgusting to have you try and rape me! Just get the hell away from me and never come back!" Ryan inhaled and exhaled then walked out of the office. Ryan speed walked to Felix's room and when he got there he looked at him for a moment then pulled up a stool to the bed. He brushed the blonde's bangs with the back of his hand gently then brushed over the skin of his cheek. He took his hand away then looked at him again and thought, _I don't care if I get infected from being in here with you. I don't want to be separated from you. I love you Felix so much. Pl…please don't leave me. I couldn't bare it if you were to leave. _Ryan started to cry and his tear drops dropped on to the ill man's cheek. Ryan opened his eyes and from a blurry vision he saw Felix open his eyes slightly.

The blonde moved his head slowly towards Ryan and smiled slightly smiled. "I'm…glad I got to …see you." Felix tried to turn his whole body but was forbade to do so when a sharp pain hit him, "man…I'm in a…pretty bade state….huh?"

"No Felix, no. You'll be fine." Ryan said between sobs as he grabbed the fragile hand of his lover.

Felix chuckled a little, "I would believe you…if I didn't know my own body…I….know that I might die…"

"Felix, don't say that!" Ryan squeezed his hand.

"That's why I was glad …to see you…once more…" Felix's eyes shut as he stopped talking.

"Felix!" Ryan looked around and saw that the monitor with his heart beat hadn't stopped. Ryan fell back on the stool he was sitting on just a few moments ago in relief. Ryan leaned over the blonde and tenderly kissed his forehead then left the room. Ryan walked out of the hospital and walked the two miles to his house in the rain that was pouring down.

Ryan made it to his house and slipped his shoes off in the doorway and walked in. He saw the plates the had just eating off of a few hours ago and he started to cry again. He didn't like the fact that Felix had a chance of dying. He screamed loudly several times at nothing in particular out of worry and frustration. He finished screaming after 20 minutes and his head hung low as he made his way back to the couch. He lay down and cried himself to sleep.

_ Felix you're ok! Ryan yelled out as he ran over to his lover I'm so glad, I didn't want you to go. I love you so much. _

_ Ryan, I love you. Felix wrapped his hands around the brunette's waist and brought him closer. Felix kissed him passionately. But Ryan, I'm sorry I have to go._

_ 'Have to go' but where?_

_ Back to heaven. Felix rose off the ground and floated toward the sky._

_ Wait! Please don't go! I need you! Please don't leave me alone again! Ryan reached out his hand toward the sky._

Ryan woke up and jumped off the couch. Tears streaming down his face and he covered up his eyes with his hand. _I need to have hope. Hope, that Felix is going to be ok! He'll come back and I will ask for his hand in marriage. I will see that smile again and I will feel his warmth again. I've got to get myself together and wait for his return. _Ryan got off the couch and made his way to the table and cleared of the dishes and put the left over the food in the fridge. He opened the fridge and saw the cake he had made yesterday for them to eat and smiled. _When he comes back I'll take this out and we'll eat it together._ Ryan put the food in the fridge then went upstairs and got dressed in a gray pair of sweats and a gray jacket to match then went to his closet and got a pair of running shoes out and slipped them on after putting on some ankle socks.

Ryan always wore converse so he only had that type of sock. But he was glad he had a pair of running shoes. This is because if he ran in his converses they would get messed up and Ryan didn't have the money to get new ones. Ryan walked down the stairs got a glass from the cabinet and put some water in it. He drank it. Then he rinsed the glass out and then put it in the drainer. He then grabbed his house keys and the hair band Felix had put his hair up with yesterday and used it to put his longish hair up. His brown hair was longer than Felix's but it wasn't anywhere near in comparison to Rapunzel's long hair. Ryan walked out of his house and locked the door behind him and then made his way to the side walk. Then he started jogging down the side walk. _I've got to be in shape when Felix comes back. That way he can't say anything about my weight and so that I won't crush him when we're having sex. That'd be pretty bad no matter how you look at it. But I bet if anyone read something about a person being crushed by their male partner in the middle of sex and they were a male couple they'd probably think it's hilarious. I mean even I would laugh at that._ Ryan continued to jog down the sidewalk while saying hi to the neighbors he passed.

After an hour of jogging Ryan made his way back home and took a shower. He dressed in shorts and a tank top after he was done with his shower; he also put his hair back into a pony tail like before with the same hairband. Then he made his way back down the stairs and into the kitchen. He grabbed some chicken that was left over from last night and heated it up in the microwave for a minute. The microwave beeped and he took out the plate and placed it on the counter as he grabbed the cup from earlier and poured some sparkling in it then took it over to the couch and placed it on the table in front of the couch. He grabbed the TV remote and the roku remote. He turned on the TV and went to the browse anime and clicked it the went to the simulcast and searched for an anime. There it was the same show he had started to watch two years ago before Felix had come over to his house. He clicked it and the clicked the resume playing option that was on the screen.

"It's time to do my research." Ryan said as the show started back up again.


End file.
